Jackie Fast Eyes is a local celebrity in his section of Jersey. He’s a powerful guy, a funny guy, a connected guy, a guy you don’t wanna mess with. Forgetaboutit. He’s got more cousins than an Amish family, and you don’t want to meet them for the wrong reason. For a while, the streets had been relatively calm around Jackie Fast Eyes and his crew. Then pink eye struck Jackie. Whats-a-matter-wit-my-eye! He couldn’t wear his contacts for a week. His back-up glasses earned him a new nickname: Jackie No Game. Word on the street travels fast and as soon as Jackie caught wind of his new nickname, he started ordering heads on platters. His cousin Tony “The Beef” had to talk some sense into Jackie. “Jackie, you know me. I’d nevah done nothin’ to disrespect you. I just don’t wanna see you like this. Take a breath, Jackie. I know this guy at EyeBuyDirect.com that will set you up with Buy One Get One Free Eye Glasses. You just go to the site, Jackie. You pick out two pairs that are gonna get ya some respect, Jackie. And you get one of ‘em free. That easy, Jackie. Capiche?”
“What’s a matter wit these glasses that I got?”
“Jackie, you just go to the site, Jackie. You gonna find two pairs that say “respect” and you only gotta pay for one. You got it?”
“I got it, I got it. You know, Tony, as a token of my appreciation, I wanna give you this watch that I just acquired.”
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