When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to continue their lifestyle of fine dining while the political and economic bands dissolve around them, the aforementioned group must turn to a higher power to maintain this lifestyle.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, and all must enjoy in the bounty of good food and drink without breaking their bank or worrying about economic turmoil.
Thus, I present as a call to action, to each and everyone of you, to partake of the delicious events that so many of us enjoy. Eat well, drink well, and be merry, for it shall only cost you $2.
We hereby proclaim that we shall institute a new regime, which is bound to the $25 gift certificates of Restaurant.com. We shall only pay $2 for said gift certificates, and we will enjoy the best dining our respective cities have to offer. To prove this, let the facts be submitted to a candid world by placing our favorite restaurants in our shopping cart and using coupon code TREATS at checkout.
Enjoy my fellow brethren, eat of the bounty of your favorite restaurant and toast the new world order. We are here to stay, and continue to enjoy our lifestyle despite the world around us! UNITE! Our day of judgment is upon us!